About Jay
Our healthy son was adopted directly from hospital at the age of 18 days.
Instructions from the nursery there indicated that all this baby needed was lots of food and cuddles. Indeed this was the story of his early childhood - he spoke well and early and was reading long before the start of school. As our first child (our second, a daughter, arrived 5 years later) he had a wonderful life doing the things he loved (mainly building with lego and books). He didn't like crowds or loud noise and in group settings played "to the side" but in every other respect an easy child with a placid and pleasing disposition with lots of smiles.
School presented few problems in the first six years though socially, it was obvious he attracted only a handful of friends, mostly girls, as he was not into physical pursuits or sport preferring the quiet environment of the library. He moved onto high-school at an all-boys private school and although going along daily without complaint, it was the beginning of his private hell, details of which we did not learn until many years later. He graduated with the best in core skills testing but an average pass, mainly due to lack of organisational skills and not bothering with any subject that became a problem for him. Dealing with all the other issues caused major problems so we visited a clinical psychologist who suggested he was just "different" and would make his way. University was a disaster as was any employment he undertook. He excelled at any interview with his exceptional verbal skills and obviously high IQ - however the practical implementation and being part of a team never worked. Wrongly diagnosed at 21 with schizophrenia and accordingly medicated he ballooned in weight and plummeted in self-esteem.
At the age of 28 he was correctly diagnosed as the direct result of my reading some of Tony Atwood's publications - when handed over to my son to read, his response was, "I could have written that book". He takes no medication at all and lives at home with us and currently sees a specialist psychologist weekly who is helping restore some of his lost self-esteem. It is a very slow road as much damage has been done as a result of living with an unknown condition for 28 years. Slowly some confidence is returning, he can drive a car, do voluntary work and is anticipating a return to study via "Open Learning University". He reads the paper from cover to cover every day and writes Letters to the Editor which often get published. He is good at discussing current affairs but not so good at listening to others' opinions. We feel that had this condition been known in the early 80's and appropriate assistance given, this boy would have been saved a lot of anguish particularly in the light of his "high functioning" spectrum disorder.
Enquiries regarding his birth and familial history reveal no underlying known disorders of this ilk.
Life goes on and we are hopeful that this delightful young man will find his own way in time.
Post script at January 2010
Jay turned 31 recently and the best birthday present of all arrived a few months earlier in the form of paid part-time employment which he is enjoying immensely. It has been so rewarding as parents to witness the increase in his confidence, self-esteem and social awareness. The opportunity for employment came about as a result of our enlisting the help of a semi-government organisation whose purpose is to place the disabled in suitable work situations. Jay was quite definite about what areas he would be happy to be employed in so it took some months for a suitable placement to be made. His work report from his supervisors is excellent and others (aware of his condition) enjoy working with him. He deals with the public and closes the retail store on completion of the day's trading unsupervised. We feel that the only reason this is working out so well is that the agency through which his employment was organised continues to support him post-employment.It is reassuring for us to know that if any problems were to arise in the workplace as a result of his spectrum disorder then they would be able to be addressed immediately from both sides. It seems almost impossible for the general populace, no matter how compassionate, to understand the workings of the Aspergian mind, and we as a family needed to educate the staff of the employment agency on the condition.
Thank you for hearing his story.
Anne & Denis Moretto
