About Tim
Tim’s favourite toys have always been trains and tractors. At 10 months he would push his wooden trolley filled with them round the kitchen and living room making the exact noises you would expect to hear from a Massey Ferguson tractor. By 17 months there were no sounds, no eye contact, no smiles. The fact is that our little boy had disappeared.
Instead he was content to sit lining up all of his toy cars and trains in a line and in colour order. He would not lift his head when I called his name and to me he seemed lost and unhappy.
Initially I thought there was a problem with his hearing, but as there had been developmental difficulties with our eldest child we knew that, with Tim, the problems were more deep-rooted. After several visits to see the Child Development team, he was diagnosed as having autism.
Now, I am a practical person, and my immediate response was ‘what do we do now?’ The reality that Tim had this lifelong incurable disability did not hit home until several months later and - even seven years on - I still find it difficult to comprehend. But this is not about me; this is about finding the right support, interventions and fighting for what he is entitled to. We were advised to contact our LEA and request a Statement of Special Needs. By the end of the procedure - half a year in our case - we were on first-name terms with the admin officer handling the paperwork. It is all about ‘parent power’! You have it, so use it!
He is currently attending a fantastic Special School along with his brother, who also has a diagnosis of autism, but not as severely so as Tim. Both boys are doing remarkably well and the main object is that they are very happy and achieving.
We ‘lost’ Tim for several years. The heartache and sadness was indescribable but over time he is coming back to us. He is a charming, endearing child, who brings great joy and happiness everyone who knows him. There are still challenging moments caused by his lack of being able to communicate his needs and wishes verbally. But looking back at how far we have travelled and what Tim has achieved, I feel it is astonishing.
We still have a long way to go, but the more I am aware of autism and the difficulties that children and adults face on a daily basis, the more determined I am to push for an awareness of this disability.
I am telling my story because I regard raising awareness of autism as crucial if autistic children and adults have any chance of surviving in a society that they have every right to be part of.
Cathy
Autistica is the only UK charity whose sole purpose is to fund research into the causes of autism. The effect that autism has on children, people and their families is being studied all the time and treatments, interventions and supports are evaluated - but there is much more that needs to be done to find out the answer to the fundamental question: “why?”
